Unit 6 & 7 - National Theatre Connections Task 1 + 2

 Task 1 - Production Diary

My production diary explains the audition process, what rehearsals consisted of and what the entire experience was like leading up to our home performance. Read from 4/1/23 - 23/3/23.

Task 2 - Creating our character's world (Older Stefi)

Upon reading the script, I immediately felt drawn to the character of Stefi. When seeing how she acts when she is younger in contrast to when she is older and more mature, you see such a big change in how she speaks to others and what her presence in the 'Ansten Crew' is like. Thankfully due to the audition process, we were able to dive deeper into the script, and separate it into fact and opinion concerning Stefi. I found that finding facts was a lot easier to identify as Stefi is quite a big character in the play meaning nothing about her is hidden, she is the reason for a lot of events happening like the reunion that takes places during the entirety of the script. Alongside that, we know that she has a twin brother called Zafer who she is older than by 2 minutes and 38 seconds. Stefi is the person that reveals about Tom Joy's return and also tells them about mysterious phone calls she's been receiving, being the reason for everyone's fear and tension towards one another. When it came to opinions, I sensed that Stefi is quite an overbearing and abrasive character all due to her brother's illness, there's a sense that she feels invisible and almost shoved to the back of her family. It's obvious she doesn't blame this all on Zafer, but instead channels her hurt and anger in protecting him from the outside world. I personally believe it's her father Mr. Emre that she is more annoyed and upset at since he's mentioned many times in the script, has big opinions on the friends that his children decide to surround themselves with and has control over Stefi and Zafer suggesting he plays a bigger part in the story than it seems.

Discussions about Stefi...

We had a discussion as a group what we all thought Stefi messaged to the group, in which we agreed on a very vague message that would trick them into coming. The message would have read "Hi (member of Ansten Crew), I'm sure you've heard about what's happened in the news, if we can meet at my dad's cafe tomorrow to talk about it, I'd appreciate it. See you then x" It leaves things open, so that when they blame her for bringing them together for thinking it was about Zafer, she has proof that she never specified.

Personality...

I feel that Stefi is the least liked in the group. When we visit her in the past, she is in the background and not talked to or about unless it's in connection with Zafer. She is never spoken to directly, highlighting the very little popularity she holds. This carries on into her older life, as the rest of the 'Ansten Crew' only agree to reunite as they are under the agreement they are there to help Zafer concerning his treatment. 

I envision Stefi as someone who overthinks, and can't sleep without every little thing sorted, and can't sleep if something worrying is happening the following day. She overthinks in a way, so that she has every possible scenario thought out and knows how to overcome and sort it. For example, when some people like Kobi and Ray aren't onboard with the podcast idea, she constantly comes in with reasons, like how they want to be sensitive when it comes to talking about their own life and how everyone gets a fee, so it's not like they are doing it for nothing. 

However,  I believe that she doesn't care in a way what her 'friends' think of her. We see in the script she's rude to Amma with her poetry, and doesn't care to put Belle in her place, which speaks loud how maybe she feels she can finally own herself and find her voice to say how she feels. What she says is hurtful at times and this stays with her since she was younger like when she called Ray 'a tosser'. She's like this with Zafer, as when he enters in, she's straight away blaming him for scaring them even though he didn't realise he did.

In addition, I find it clear that she feels that Zafer doesn't thank her for many things although there's reasons for this since all Zafer wants is to deal with his illness on his own, and Stefi feels that caring for him will remove all the negative things she did and said to him as a kid. 

Purpose in the play...

Throughout the play, I feel that Older Stefi acts as the narrator as she moves the olders scenes along with either new information, arguments or telling's of flashbacks. She delievers a lot of main key plot points, like the reveal Tom Joy is out and how Zafer doesn't know about the podcast as she's keeping it from him. Moments like this allow the audience to follow along the story as each plot change is unpredictable which means both the audience and character's emotions are never the same.

Personal Life...

In Stefi's personal life, due to her being 17, she's not an adult yet which narrows the amount of freedom she has in life. I feel that she's not an adventurous person, and that she doesn't put herself out there when it comes to new experiences and opportunities. When everyone meets up, they express their future plans and what they have been doing in life, Belle is a lawyer, Vee is falling in love, Kobi is connecting with his faith but Stefi has nothing to tell. She's looking after Zafer even though he expresses how he feels she's really just controlling him, and it's clear she doesn't like change, she likes things to stay the same and for the past to not catch up on her. In my opinion, Stefi wants her life to stay exactly how it is, Zafer is alive and under her control, she's not reminded of her past so when she hears of Tom's return, it makes her determined to remove the problem that is Tom hurting the Ansten Crew for their lies. 

For me, I made it a priority to showcase how alone Stefi really is. If you combine her unpopularity with her friends, everyone making sure Zafer is okay and well, no-one offering to catch-up with her, and her dad not being there for her and her absent mother, it's clear how isolated and lonely Stefi really is. I did this, by showcasing her nerves whether that was messing with her fingers, tangling her jewellery to highlight she's not normally in situations where she's the centre of attention, and when she's arguing with Zafer, I made sure to show the obsessive control she holds over her brother and raise my voice as to reveal the pent up anger Stefi keeps with her everyday. The anger comes from her loneliness and feeling that she's going to feel like this for the rest of her life.

There's questions I asked myself before playing Stefi thanks to a question worksheet by Kelly, here are some of them and my answers:

? - What do they consider an overrated virtue?

A - I believe Stefi finds tranquility to be an overrated virtue, as keeping herself busy and occupied is what she does every day. You shouldn't have nothing circling around in your mind, instead you should be constantly thinking about what to do next. I believe Stefi is forever full of guilt that she feels she holds with her for no reason, which shows that she has no time to be at peace with herself and for one minute of the day. 

? - Describe their parents.

A - It's clear that Stefi and her father Mr. Emre don't have a perfect relationship, it's rocky. When we look into her past, in the wrong way, he looks out for her by telling her not to hang around with Tom Joy even though as a reader of the script, I understand he's not a bad kid, just stereotyped as that. However, in conversations when she's older, he's not mentioned at all which can show that what happened when they were younger divided their relationship further, which is sad as it tells myself that Stefi doesn't have anyone to talk to about anything, although Stefi's controllive behavior clearly comes from her father always telling her what to do without her opinion. Stefi and Zafer's mother is never mentioned, which allowed myself some freedom and leverage to write my own story concerning that. So, I came up with the idea that their mother left when they were young, due to the pressure she was feeling from looking after twins, it got too much for her to handle, and with constant arguments with Mr. Emre, she took the wrong way out and left the family. I feel that Mr. Emre always blamed himself for it, and his random spurts of anger would be projected onto his kids, already beginning that divide between himself and Stefi and Zafer. She's never mentioned out of hurt, and no-one brings it up perhaps because Stefi or Zafer never felt it was necessary to tell to their friends. 

? - What do they do on a Sunday afternoon?

A - Stefi is still in education, so I would say she's still in college and would spend her Sunday afternoon making sure that she is ready for the day to come, and she definitely hasn't forgotten anything whether that's homework or specific books. 

? - What did they want to be growing up?

A - I feel that Stefi had dreams of becoming a writer, perhaps an author for fictional books. I have this image of Stefi and Zafer when they were really young, maybe 8 and 9 before they met the Ansten Crew of being attached at the hip and telling stories to each other of battling dragons and swashbuckling with pirates. Before everyone changed and real life seeped it's way into their relationship, I feel that Stefi would have envisioned drawing pictures of these adventure they would tell each other and write down the story in a beautiful book with a hardback cover and share it with the world. It tells us why Stefi's way of speaking about the podcast and how they would present it, is so thought out and well put together. 

? - What advice would they give their younger self?

A - See blog titled "National Theatre Character Study"

? - What do they look for in a potential lover or partner?

A - Stefi would look for in a partner someone who has an idea of the world, would be open about their feelings and not keep anything secret unless necessary and mostly be a great listener. I feel that Stefi keeps so much inside that she doesn't have anyone to really speak and connect to, that she would want someone to love and care for her the way she would for them. However, I think that Stefi isn't looking for a partner right now but she does hope to one day start a family, in a way to start over again with her new family. 

? - What are their views on social media?

A - I believe that Stefi has social media to stay up to date with the news, maybe some pop culture moments but would go on it to see what her old friends are up to. She wouldn't post or care about followers, I feel she'd want to be kept private on it unlike people like Amma who make it their entire life. This way, Stefi can judge and have her own opinions about her friends without having to see them.

? - What do they love to hate?

A - Stefi loves to hate Tom Joy. She never shows any sign of love or likeness to him and only converts in conversation to him when they were younger if it's to set up for something everyone was collectively involved in. As she gets older, that hate grows I feel that he could come back at any time, and also down to Zafer always talking about him and say how he feels responsible would build up that jealously into hate. There is some guilt disguised as hate, perhaps the hate she feels for herself for feeling guilty on his behalf. 

? - What is their favorite song?

A - Stefi's favourite song is 'A Little More Love' by Olivia Newton-John, as it would play on the radio when she was younger, and was the first and only single she was gifted by her brother Zafer. It was just a catchy song to her when she was older, but now the lyrics hold some meaning and relatability to her. "Where, where did my innocence go? How, how was a young girl to know?" are the most prominent in connection to Stefi and her life. When she listens to it, she can escape for 3 minutes, close her eyes and drift away into the song and know she's not alone. 

Me and Phoebe (Younger Stefi) had decided on wearing a similar colour palette to keep it simple so that an audience member could easily tell who we are, but we decided on matching with butterfly’s, younger Stefi would wear the colourful butterfly clips in her hair and older Stefi, to appear more mature would wear one or two to keep her hair back. Both wear them but for different purposes, younger Stefi wore them to stand out and not be in the shadow of being a twin, and older Stefi finds she has bigger problems like looking after Zafer, the cafe and of course Tom Joy to worry about than how she looks. She appears clean and put together to hide the messiness of her life but loves practicality reason for the day-to-day outfits she wears that seem comfortable. We both agreed that butterflies are like a metaphor for life, if you can’t be open to change then you will never move on much like how Stefi reacts to Tom Joys return. We felt that Stefi will never change but the butterflies highlight her once innocent self, and the fewer the butterflies in her hair, the less she’s open to change.

Overall, Stefi is a troubled character who is misunderstood. The way she speaks however, and her intentions make you dislike her. As someone who will act as her, I find there's times when I hate the way she is, but there's a way I've had to find how to connect to her behind closed doors that will allow me to enter her mind. She constantly thinks of how to belittle those around her, and when her world unravels at the end of the play, it's almost like she wishes she changed her actions and the way she was to others. I truly believe she won't change, it's forever in her nation, I just feel that the only person who she's different with is with her twin brother Zafer. There's a bond there that will stick till the end of time, whether that's not wanting to see each other at all, or best friends always together, they are twins and have a connection some people will never have. He will always be a reminder of who she wishes she could be.